Are you short-tempered or perhaps you end up getting into incessant contentions and battles? “Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong”. Anger is a part of typical human behavior, but when chronic, explosive, and out of control, it may cause severe consequences especially to the younger generation. This pandemic has been quite a tough journey for all of us and we all have faced the rage of anger at some point in our life. But with introspection and insight into the actual cause of anger along with certain anger management tools, one can learn to control and stop their tamper from hijacking their life.
Acknowledging the need and necessity of anger management, the Counselling and Happiness Cell under the aegis of Division of Student Relationship, LPU organized a webinar-based session “Anger Management – Controlling Your Anger Before It Controls You”. The session was taken by Ms. Malvinder Gill (HOD, Counselling & Happiness Cell), Ms. Anusuya Hazarika (Sr. Clinical Psychologist), and Ms. Anuradha (Counselling Psychologist).
The session was kick-started by Ms. Hazarika with an interesting question. “Do you frequently blow up? Indeed, as everyone does. It is a part of normal human behavior, yet you often blame others for your resentment?”. If your answer is ‘Yes’, then you need to have a grip on it before it destroys everything you have.
At the time, anger may proliferate and result in stress and disappointment. But anger is not necessarily downright awful if managed appropriately. According to various research shows that anger can negatively affect a person both physically and mentally when it becomes unruly. She also emphasized that keeping your temper in check can be challenging. However – it is better to control your anger before it controls you.
EFFECTS OF ANGER
- The bodily system becomes inflexible and sullied.
- We damage our abuse others
- Broken relationship
In essence, she said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else but eventually you are the one who gets burned.”
- Motivate us to accomplish something
- Empowers us to be assertive
- Helps in survival
- It is a way to expresses us
- Motivate us to act accordingly
She added, “Nobody makes you angry without your concern.”
CAUSES OF ANGER
Anger goes hand in hand with a wide range of sources and can vary from person to person. But certain triggers are common and include:
- Over expectation and assumptions
- Faulty insight into the situation
- Inability to communicate or socialize
- Poor self-control
Other than these, in some cases, it may be due to traumatic events in one’s life or hormonal changes that occur along with certain medical conditions. Certainly, it results in:
- Judgmental personality
- Develops hate
- Blaming nature
- Revengeful thoughts
“Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.” – Buddha
SKILLS REQUIRED TO DEAL WITH OUTRAGE
- Recognize the range of sentiments, also anger
- Distinguish your responses and possible consequences of such aggressive acts.
- Identify reckless nature
- Recognize contemplations before it leads to destruction
- Identify inside signals to sensations of anger
- Develop methods for dealing with stress
- Express your thoughts without disrespecting or losing control
DIFFERENT METHODS FOR ANGER MANAGEMENT
The main objective of outrage management is to lower both physiological and emotional burdens that result in arousal of anger. You cannot dispose of, or get rid of, people or things that enrage you, nor can you transform them. However, you can figure out your responses accordingly. Some of the best ways to manage anger are:
- Calm Down: Strategies to keep calm are:
Balanced and appropriate diet.
Proper sleep cycle.
Take short breaks in life to relax.
Recognize your emotions.
Express emotions in a suitable form e.g. writing.
Spend time with yourself
Indulge yourself in adventurous activities
Think before you act.
Surround yourself with like-minded and positive people.
Make forgive, forget, and move ahead of your new moto.
- Respect others and their emotions
- Identify the problem, find a suitable and appropriate solution
- Appreciate yourself
- Review the solution you choose
In the end, Ms. Malvider Gill and Ms. Hazarika ended the session by giving certain tips for anger management which included the following points:
- Reframe your thoughts
Anger amplifies your internal thoughts, forces you to emphasize the negative aspects of the situation, and makes the whole scenario worse. Introspection and cognitive restructuring might help you to get a different and positive perspective. She added, “Instead of thinking that everything is ruined, and things are not going to get any better tell yourself – this is disturbing; however, it is not the apocalypse, and getting angry won’t help you to fix anything.”
- Choose your words wisely
Avoid using negative affirmatives like “never” or “always” this gives you comfort that your anger is justified. Whereas use “I” to describe and the problem stops you from blaming others.
- Translate expectations into desires
Instead of forcing yourself on someone or being demanding, request politely as demand leads to disappointment when not fulfilled and result in anger.
- Take pause
When we are angry, we make impulsive and instant decisions or jump to the conclusion directly and you end up saying things that you might not mean. To avoid such a case, take a step back, do something which you like. This will give time to think and understand the situation precisely and collect appropriate words to express yourself without disrespecting anyone.
- Relax and learn to let go
The more you think about a situation the more it triggers you, hence, you should learn ‘let go’ and how to loosen up the situation that provoked you.
Hope this article was relatable to you and helped you to understand why it is important for a person to manage his/her anger. If you feel like your anger is not in your control and creating a negative impact on your personal and social life, you can consult our experts by mailing your problem at [email protected] with your name, registration no./UID, and contact number (counseling is free).