Patience (or forbearance) is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances such as perseverance and/or the ability to wait in the face of delay; provocation without responding in negative annoyance/anger; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties.
Above is how Wikipedia defines patience. Yet, what I feel is patience is much more than an ability. It’s an art and learning the art to be patient itself is a process which very few people are willing to withstand. Patience comes from the Latin word pati which means to suffer, to endure, to bear.
Learning this process means to grow through the challenges that life throws at us. Those are the spectacular moments to build up your patience level. Determination and grit are the keys to success in such situations.
Following are seven steps to develop patience:
What makes us resistant to be calm and composed in tough phases is the ‘instant everything’ attitude. We all have urges to go out, get something done or to delay the things. Many people blame society and environment for this but our society doesn’t create us. So, don’t act on the urge right away but do it consciously after your heartbeat returns to normal. There will be many times when you give in to your urges — that’s OK. We all do it. There’s nothing wrong with giving in sometimes, but the key is to see how that makes you feel afterwards and learn whether the decision was a good one or not. Maybe you don’t need or want any of them that urgently after all.
Listen, listen good and listen carefully
In order to understand the situations well, one has to listen to the parties involved, understand their perspectives or probably listen to self-intuition (in case of personal problems) to not reach the solution but to identify the root cause of the problem. Once the problem is identified, then plan the action steps to resolve it effectively.
Remember, listen in a way that people are ready to speak to you and speak in a way that people are ready to listen to you.
Control your temper before your temper controls you
It’s fantastic to be cool! Being short-tempered and losing calmness will not be a good idea. In case the aggressive character inside yourself is out of your control, it’s advised to avoid such situations or to move away from such place/people and address those instances later on, if unavoidable.
Stop craving for attention
We all seek attention out of many reasons but the major ones are either jealousy of finding someone else in the limelight or threat of losing the gained recognition. However, the best news is that you can stop craving for attention provided that you treat the underlying root cause. Identify the factors causing the threat or jealousy like best practices followed by others stealing attention, colleagues getting appreciation based on workaholic behaviour, balancing personal-professional life etc. and adapt them in best possible manner. People will pay attention to your personality by default.
There are times when we start killing ourselves by over thinking or talking to our well-wishers who can do nothing except sympathizing us. Avoid beating around the bush and talk to the people/problem being upfront. Remember, politeness will save you here. Following polite and humble approach will definitely take you closer to the solution if not the complete resolution. It will also make you feel relaxed.
Go with the flow
In the 21st century, the majority of the human beings especially millennials want everything to happen as per their expectations, especially in our daily life relations. In order to fulfill the same, everyone expects the other person to behave in a manner as per his or her thoughts. People stay happy as long as their expectations are fulfilled. The moment anything goes wrong, conflict arises which eventually hits the relationship and weakens the bonding. Therefore, prefer going with the flow even if time isn’t favouring you. Everything will be all right, it might just be taking longer than expected!
Take the toxic elements out:
Some of the most poisonous people come disguised as friends and family. People wear masks and pretend to be your well-wisher, advocate etc. However, it hardly takes a moment when you aren’t able to support or cooperate with them and their mask falls off. They don’t listen as they feel you betrayed them. They react to your actions, use humiliating words in order to agitate you. That’s where you need to hold on your emotions. By reacting or arguing, you would actually let them control your mind do more harm to yourself. Don’t leave the matter unaddressed, however, deal with it gracefully at the right time when the other party is also willing to listen.
Such tips may not work all the times for everyone. But at the end of the day, it’s all about yourself not about them. Be patient, be happy!
Mr Gaurav Bali is a Personality Architect & Life Skills Trainer, who has over 5 years of rich experience in working at various positions in the corporate sector. Following his passion, he managed the entire gamut of training & development for over 4 years as a freelance trainer and developed an expertise in people skills. An engineer turned trainer and a gold medallist in Personality Development from IIT Kanpur is currently associated with LPU as a Soft Skills Trainer with School of Professional Enhancement.
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