‘They tried to bury us, They didn’t know we were seeds!’ ~ Mexican proverb
College is a replica of the outer world. You get to meet all sorts of people. Some give you cherishing memories while some teach you lessons of life! However, there is one common person you encounter in every field. ‘The Controller‘.
Go anywhere, you’ll always find that one person dominating your whole clan and manipulating your thought process. Often people make a big blunder by putting ‘the Influencer’ and ‘the Controller’, under the same category! There is a huge difference between the two.
Influencer is a great mentor. Controller is a great dictator!
Influencer gives you guidelines. Controller gives you deadlines!
Influencer enhances your personality. Controller makes you lose your identity!
Influencer helps you achieve your target. Controller simply enjoys the new puppet!
I hope now you have found that silver lining between influencing a person to be a better version and controlling one’s intellect. So, here are some tips on how to deal with such bossy people effectively :
- Stay Firm
Whether in friendship or relationship; you must have a firm opinion of your own. Controllers try to manipulate your way of looking at things and analyzing them. You start thinking just like them. Your judgments are no longer individual. You start seeing through the latter’s perspective. For instance, even among friends, if you think you are right about something; then at least take a stand for your opinion. Don’t just sheepishly agree to someone you think is incorrect. Disagreeing isn’t always a bad thing.
- Savage Replies
Leg-pulling is the birthright of every friend. But honestly, isn’t it a bit tiring being the subject of the joke all time? This is another way, where you are being dominated secretly by others. And you take all those jokes for granted. Occasionally, it’s okay to ignore such mocking, but what if it becomes a regular activity? People wouldn’t take you or your opinions seriously! So be prepared with replies. Give them a taste of their own medicine. Sometimes it’s important to shut them down. After all, you can’t be their Joker to eternity. Can you?
- Know your Priority
Often your bossy colleagues shoot you up with their own pending chores. It would be really nice of you to be their helping hand. But make sure, you don’t end up being their hand puppet! Say yes today, and tomorrow you would find yourself buried under their pending files. No one knows your priorities better than you. So, learn to say no if you think you can’t do their work, as you too have some responsibilities. Don’t be afraid of the thought that you would be tagged ‘selfish’. Remember that you are their friend, not a slave!
- Blissfully ignored
Most dominators have their own set of rules and advice, which they impose on you. If you don’t act as per those personal norms of the controller, they tend to get mad at you. Arguments are for sure. The last and maybe the best way to tackle such personality is ignoring them. For instance, you personally don’t find that advice useful or have a different viewpoint, simply listen. There’s no harm in hearing other’s opinion, just don’t make it your conclusion. Thus, it is best to simply listen, analyze and then react.
Keep scintillating, don’t let others outshine your hard work.